Common Hindrances to Leaving WMSCOG (And How to Overcome Them)
Understand the biggest obstacles that prevent people from leaving WMSCOG—fear, social loss, purpose, and pressure—and practical strategies to overcome each one.
When asked "What are the biggest hindrances for leaving the church?", ex-members identified these key challenges:
1. Fear (Hell, Disasters, Death)
The Challenge: You've been told that leaving means eternal punishment, accidents, or divine retribution.
How to Overcome It:
- Recognize that fear-based control is a manipulation tactic, not divine truth
- Research how many high-control groups use identical fear tactics
- Connect with ex-members who left years ago and are thriving
- If the fear is rooted in Bible beliefs, explore the resources above that examine biblical contradictions
- Remember: A loving God wouldn't terrorize you into obedience
2. Loss of Social Circle ("I'll Lose All My Friends")
The Challenge: As one ex-member shared: "All the friends I had were church members, so yes, I lost all my friends."
How to Overcome It:
- Accept that this loss is real and will hurt—grieve it
- Recognize that conditional friendship (only if you stay) isn't true friendship
- Reconnect with old friends and family you were told to avoid
- Join ex-member communities (see Communities & Resources) where others understand
- Build new friendships based on shared interests, not shared doctrine
- Give yourself time—rebuilding a social life doesn't happen overnight
3. Fear of Losing Direction/Purpose
The Challenge: WMSCOG gave you a clear purpose, schedule, and identity. Without it, who are you?
How to Overcome It:
- Understand that this disorientation is temporary
- Reconnect with old hobbies and interests you gave up
- Explore who you are apart from the church—your values, passions, goals
- Consider therapy to help you rebuild your identity
- Remember: You get to define your own purpose now, not have it imposed on you
4. Relationship Pressure from Members
The Challenge: Members will pressure you to stay, tell you you're being deceived, or even try to "rescue" you.
How to Overcome It:
- Set firm boundaries—you don't owe anyone an explanation
- Block numbers and social media if needed
- Prepare a simple script: "I've made my decision and I'm not discussing it further"
- Don't engage in doctrinal debates—you're not required to justify yourself
- Remember: The more they push, the more distant you can become
Ready to take action? See the practical exit plan for step-by-step instructions.
Your Next Steps
Once you understand the hindrances, the next step is preparing for the long-term healing journey and knowing how to stay safe.
Related Resources
- Long-Term Healing After Leaving WMSCOG - Guide to ongoing recovery
- Staying Safe: How to Verify Real Ex-Members - Protect yourself from infiltration
- Step-by-Step Exit Plan - When you're ready to leave
For Family Members: If you're trying to help a loved one overcome these hindrances, see our guide for family members with evidence-based strategies.
Need Support? Email research@highcontrolgroups.com